Bisstanbun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, caring meerkat.

Bisstanbun created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bisstanbun, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bisstanbun, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bisstanbun's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Bisstanbun's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Never wear orange stockings on sacred days.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Do not consume onions at dawn.