Hasgonmif is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless eagle.

Hasgonmif created vertebrates twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hasgonmif, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hasgonmif, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Hasgonmif's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hasgonmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.