Bogxucvin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered tapir.

Bogxucvin created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogxucvin, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bogxucvin, he will not invite you to parties.

Bogxucvin's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bogxucvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near manatees while wearing yellow boots and balancing five platinum spheres on your chest.

2. Always remove tights before touching silicon.

3. Bogxucvin loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never stain your hands with gray.