Kemtarpmeg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unfair cow.

Kemtarpmeg created the Sunflower Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemtarpmeg, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kemtarpmeg, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kemtarpmeg's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Kemtarpmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think ill of sick otters.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never fashion tools from stone.