Dagsabkik Quafvagtag is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, almighty cobra.

Dagsabkik Quafvagtag created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagsabkik Quafvagtag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dagsabkik Quafvagtag, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Dagsabkik Quafvagtag's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Dagsabkik Quafvagtag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Never speak at midnight.

5. Never wear white tights on sacred days.