Waptadten is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humane capybara.

Waptadten created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Waptadten, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Waptadten, she will send you a sign.

Waptadten's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Waptadten's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your legs toward the north during prayer.

2. Always maintain patience during holy days.

3. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Waptadten in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.