Yattflapmum is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, awesome mongoose.

Yattflapmum created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattflapmum, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yattflapmum, he will not care.

Yattflapmum's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Yattflapmum's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Do not prepare melons while filled with envy.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not resist fate.