Vonklib is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, compassionate cow.

Vonklib created the planet Venus six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonklib, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonklib, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vonklib's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Vonklib's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Worship no other gods but Vonklib.

3. Never mark doors with mauve.

4. Never wear cyan ear rings.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.