Duthotstan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unsympathetic ferret.

Duthotstan created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Duthotstan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Duthotstan, he will turn you into a tree.

Duthotstan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Duthotstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near seals while wearing white ear rings and balancing five silver spheres on your arms.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near dogs while wearing pink hats and balancing nine nickel spheres on your back.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed tomatoes to monkeys while wearing shoes.

5. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.