Febbassid Zedtip is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, omniscient squirrel.

Febbassid Zedtip created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febbassid Zedtip, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Febbassid Zedtip, she will make you grow a tail.

Febbassid Zedtip's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Febbassid Zedtip's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never allow ducks to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never feed parsnips to shrews while wearing coats.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.