Mapdapdab is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciful cobra.

Mapdapdab created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapdapdab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mapdapdab, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Mapdapdab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Mapdapdab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Put Mapdapdab first in all things.

5. Worship no other gods but Mapdapdab.