Yarpbossgep is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unjust faun.

Yarpbossgep created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbossgep, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Yarpbossgep, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Yarpbossgep's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Yarpbossgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during winter.

2. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.