Arprancancub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, moody gerbil.

Arprancancub created everything that exists five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arprancancub, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Arprancancub, she will turn you into a sheep.

Arprancancub's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Arprancancub's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bread to mice while wearing pink kilts.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Arprancancub loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

4. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

5. Do not wear dresses marked with white.