Wadfob Gemwot is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable guinea pig.

Wadfob Gemwot created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wadfob Gemwot, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wadfob Gemwot, he will turn you into a frog.

Wadfob Gemwot's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Wadfob Gemwot's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.