Wikgigbam Bonkfum is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, happy lion.

Wikgigbam Bonkfum created the Tadpole Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikgigbam Bonkfum, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wikgigbam Bonkfum, it will turn you into a hamster.

Wikgigbam Bonkfum's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Wikgigbam Bonkfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove tights before touching zinc.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near snails while wearing orange ear rings and balancing eight iron spheres on your hands.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never pray while filled with fear.