Bepmumpin is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthoughtful grasshopper.

Bepmumpin created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Bepmumpin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bepmumpin, she will turn you into a frog.

Bepmumpin's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bepmumpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow rings.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Never stain your chest with mauve.