Tadpitcid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing rhinoceros.

Tadpitcid created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadpitcid, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tadpitcid, he will torture you forever.

Tadpitcid's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Tadpitcid's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics.

4. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

5. Tadpitcid loves dogs, so they must be respected.