Yokbidzim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, blissful jaguar.

Yokbidzim created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokbidzim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yokbidzim, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yokbidzim's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Yokbidzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix coconuts with ash.

2. Always obey Yokbidzim's priests.

3. Yokbidzim must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never hurt frogs.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.