Vilcusskipnak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, smart scorpion.

Vilcusskipnak created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilcusskipnak, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vilcusskipnak, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Vilcusskipnak's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Vilcusskipnak's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never mention great tits.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never play with disobedient children.