Hakbafsan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, conceited camel.

Hakbafsan created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakbafsan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hakbafsan, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hakbafsan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Hakbafsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Never gather six tortoises in one place.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not keep eight snails in a large pit.