Ontflanjabbittarzod is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, ruthless capybara.

Ontflanjabbittarzod created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ontflanjabbittarzod, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontflanjabbittarzod, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ontflanjabbittarzod's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Ontflanjabbittarzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill manatees.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.