Rapjenbod is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, resourceful badger.

Rapjenbod created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rapjenbod, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rapjenbod, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Rapjenbod's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Rapjenbod's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Run away from purple mites, for they are unholy.

3. Heed all dreams.

4. Never wear turquoise jumpers on sacred days.

5. Do not consume peas at dawn.