Bigbassmut is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, narcissistic ant.

Bigbassmut created an atom eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigbassmut, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bigbassmut, he will laugh at you.

Bigbassmut's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bigbassmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain standing at midday.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never travel toward the north during winter.

4. Do not hurt aardvarks.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.