Linponnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless shrew.

Linponnurt created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linponnurt, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Linponnurt, she will not invite you to parties.

Linponnurt's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Linponnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never laugh in the presence of gulls.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.