Tamlensid is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, selfish lion.

Tamlensid created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamlensid, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tamlensid, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Tamlensid's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tamlensid's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your neck with white.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never remain standing at midnight.

4. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

5. Never cross crossroads at dusk.