Fumcarflam is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, passionate crane.

Fumcarflam created parasitic wasps four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumcarflam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumcarflam, he will make you grow a tail.

Fumcarflam's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Fumcarflam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Fumcarflam on top of important buildings.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never approach forests carrying clay.

5. Never look in ponds.