Quafabrullbut is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, almighty dugong.

Quafabrullbut created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafabrullbut, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quafabrullbut, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Quafabrullbut's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Quafabrullbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow rats to witness sacred rites.

2. Always wash your face before prayer.

3. Never talk about dark energy near voles while wearing turquoise jumpers.

4. Never gather seven squirrels in one place.

5. Never eat beans.