Bossbapbud Flagquagquag is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, sage narwhal.

Bossbapbud Flagquagquag created humankind seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bossbapbud Flagquagquag, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bossbapbud Flagquagquag, she will destroy your home solar system.

Bossbapbud Flagquagquag's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Bossbapbud Flagquagquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your neck before prayer.

2. Never feed lots of oranges to shrews while wearing green hats.

3. Erect nine tin sculptures of Bossbapbud Flagquagquag on top of important buildings.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Always help doves in need.