Bafyimvegvaghadkemkan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, prudent cow.

Bafyimvegvaghadkemkan created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafyimvegvaghadkemkan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bafyimvegvaghadkemkan, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bafyimvegvaghadkemkan's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bafyimvegvaghadkemkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill moths.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near pigs while wearing turquoise shirts.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.