Figtafpas is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, witless octopus.

Figtafpas created the Sol system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figtafpas, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Figtafpas, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Figtafpas' most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Figtafpas' Holy Commandments

1. Always count to five before sleeping.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

3. Never feed nuts to sheep while wearing black ear rings.

4. Shun those given to sloth.

5. Heed all signs.