Barnteenlarg is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unselfish lizard.

Barnteenlarg created the Tadpole Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnteenlarg, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Barnteenlarg, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Barnteenlarg's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Barnteenlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to ants while wearing shoes.

2. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Barnteenlarg in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never skip in the presence of birds.

4. Do not record numbers concerning nebulae.

5. Never write about eukaryotes.