Kopsidnel is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonourable raccoon.

Kopsidnel created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopsidnel, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kopsidnel, she will ignore you.

Kopsidnel's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Kopsidnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near manatees while wearing brown ear rings and balancing five silver spheres on your legs.

2. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

4. Do not wear coats marked with violet.

5. Do not covet oxen.