Ortsigfub is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fast seal.

Ortsigfub created Mount Everest two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortsigfub, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ortsigfub, she will turn you into a rat.

Ortsigfub's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Ortsigfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near gulls while wearing indigo coats.

5. Never point your hands toward the south during prayer.