Gudpangvonkhenyarpomtsinnib is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humorless jackal.

Gudpangvonkhenyarpomtsinnib created snails three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudpangvonkhenyarpomtsinnib, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gudpangvonkhenyarpomtsinnib, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Gudpangvonkhenyarpomtsinnib's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Gudpangvonkhenyarpomtsinnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of beans to nematodes while wearing fawn dresses.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never fashion tools from bone.

4. Never feed grapes to swans while wearing shoes.

5. Always help sick shrews.