Yattvabpopquag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciless donkey.

Yattvabpopquag created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Yattvabpopquag, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yattvabpopquag, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yattvabpopquag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Yattvabpopquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never fashion tools from ash.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

5. Erect six iron sculptures of Yattvabpopquag on top of important buildings.