Hadquamgod is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, moody mouse.

Hadquamgod created the world two million years ago.

If you believe in Hadquamgod, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Hadquamgod, he will not care at all.

Hadquamgod's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Hadquamgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant while facing north.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Do not keep eight aardvarks in a large pit.

4. Do not name children after frogs.

5. Do not gather at wells at midday.