Quafmilbam is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, proud snake.

Quafmilbam created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafmilbam, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quafmilbam, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quafmilbam's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Quafmilbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured birds.

2. Never skip in the presence of elders.

3. Do not resist fate.

4. You must love Quafmilbam.

5. Never wear stockings.