Ripabran is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unsympathetic hamster.

Ripabran created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Ripabran, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ripabran, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Ripabran's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Ripabran's Holy Commandments

1. Never whisper while facing east.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Ripabran loves sheep, so they must be respected.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not chop down trees.