Yammanjip is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unselfish dugong.

Yammanjip created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Yammanjip, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yammanjip, it will turn you into a mouse.

Yammanjip's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Yammanjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in spring.

2. Never think about dark energy near mites while wearing black skirts and balancing nine iron spheres on your legs.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Put Yammanjip first in all things.

5. Do not skip at forests.