Bodarmflat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, selfish gnu.

Bodarmflat created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodarmflat, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bodarmflat, she will destroy your home solar system.

Bodarmflat's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bodarmflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

2. Do not eat apples.

3. Do not resist balance.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Learn six new languages a year.