Witsagtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, stupid hamster.

Witsagtaf created the Sun twelve years ago.

If you believe in Witsagtaf, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Witsagtaf, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Witsagtaf's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Witsagtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Witsagtaf.

2. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism.

5. Never prepare grapes during spring.