Narttabwap Mittarwot is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, passionate scorpion.

Narttabwap Mittarwot created a charm quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Narttabwap Mittarwot, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Narttabwap Mittarwot, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Narttabwap Mittarwot's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Narttabwap Mittarwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

2. Always act with humility when addressing strangers.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always remove shoes before touching copper.