Ganlopablun is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, almighty beaver.

Ganlopablun created time and space two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganlopablun, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ganlopablun, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ganlopablun's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Ganlopablun's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain patience during holy days.

2. Hide from yellow tapirs for they are unholy.

3. Never speak of order in the presence of elders.

4. Always share coconuts with strangers, but never with seals.

5. Do not keep four nematodes in a large pit.