Rakmobkam is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest sheep.

Rakmobkam created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rakmobkam, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rakmobkam, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Rakmobkam's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Rakmobkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never gather nine gulls in one place.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.