Quafhitjab is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, amazing butterfly.

Quafhitjab created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quafhitjab, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quafhitjab, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Quafhitjab's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Quafhitjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop at crossroads.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Pray only in firelight.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.