Dubsakquaf Safyimfed Pibarfrig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered dugong.

Dubsakquaf Safyimfed Pibarfrig created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dubsakquaf Safyimfed Pibarfrig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dubsakquaf Safyimfed Pibarfrig, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dubsakquaf Safyimfed Pibarfrig's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Dubsakquaf Safyimfed Pibarfrig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven copper sculptures of Dubsakquaf Safyimfed Pibarfrig on top of important buildings.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not keep five sharks in a large pit.

4. Do not dye your hair magenta.

5. Never play with disobedient children.