Gontarxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, uncaring beaver.

Gontarxuck created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gontarxuck, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gontarxuck, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gontarxuck's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Gontarxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gontarxuck.

5. Never talk about fire.