Larnpantit is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust elephant.

Larnpantit created the Tadpole Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Larnpantit, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Larnpantit, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Larnpantit's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Larnpantit's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near mice.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not dye your hair blue.