Monquartpop is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, moody giraffe.

Monquartpop created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monquartpop, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Monquartpop, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Monquartpop's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Monquartpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during summer.

2. Never paint your head purple.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Monquartpop in the centre of the settlement.