Dossanbinmil is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing newt.

Dossanbinmil created the Andromeda Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossanbinmil, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dossanbinmil, he will destroy your favourite star.

Dossanbinmil's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Dossanbinmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never adorn your head with mauve markings.